Why Am I So Exhausted? Understanding Parental Burnout and How to Support yourself.
Parenting is demanding, but when you are raising a child with differences—whether that be autism, ADHD, sensory processing challenges, or other neurodivergences—the emotional, mental, and physical toll can be overwhelming. You might feel like you are constantly caught between schools, professionals, and systems that don’t seem to fully understand or support your child in the way they need. The weight of advocating for your child, fighting for services, and managing day-to-day life can lead to deep, persistent exhaustion. But what exactly is exhaustion, and how does it show up?
What is Exhaustion?
Exhaustion is more than just feeling tired—it is a complete depletion of physical, emotional, and mental energy. It’s when sleep doesn’t feel restorative, when even simple tasks feel overwhelming, and when you’re running on autopilot without truly recharging. This kind of exhaustion—often referred to as parental burnout—happens when the stress of caregiving outweighs the available support and resources.
How Can Exhaustion Show Up?
Exhaustion doesn’t always look like just feeling “worn out.” It can manifest in many ways, including:
Physical Symptoms - Chronic fatigue, headaches, muscle tension, digestive issues, frequent colds, or sleep disturbances.
Emotional Symptoms - Increased irritability, feeling numb or disconnected, heightened anxiety, or persistent feelings of guilt or inadequacy.
Cognitive Symptoms - Brain fog, forgetfulness, trouble concentrating, or feeling mentally overloaded.
Behavioural Symptoms - Withdrawing from social interactions, increased reliance on caffeine or sugar, difficulty enjoying activities you once loved.
If these signs sound familiar, you’re not alone. Many parents experience exhaustion, particularly when they feel that their child’s needs aren’t being met at school when professionals don’t seem to be listening, and when they feel trapped in a system that isn’t built for neurodivergent children.
Why Does Parenting a Child with Differences Lead to Exhaustion?
The stress of constantly advocating for your child, navigating complex education systems, and feeling like you must fight for basic support can take a significant toll. Here’s why this happens:
The Emotional Load - Watching your child struggle without the right accommodations is heartbreaking and frustrating. Feeling unheard by teachers, therapists, or medical professionals adds another layer of stress.
Decision Fatigue - You’re constantly making choices—what’s the best therapy? Should I push for a CSP, EHCP, or even Individual differentiated work in the classroom? Do I challenge the school’s decisions? This never-ending mental load is exhausting.
The System Feels Stacked Against You - Many parents feel they must become experts in education law, therapy techniques, and advocacy to get their children what they need. This constant battle drains energy quickly.
Lack of Support - Without the right personal support system—friends, family, or professionals who truly understand—it can feel isolating.
Guilt and Self-Doubt - Many parents feel guilty about needing a break or wonder if they are “doing enough.” This emotional strain can add to exhaustion.
What Happens If We Ignore This Exhaustion?
If left unchecked, parental exhaustion can lead to:
Chronic stress that impacts physical and mental health.
Increased frustration and resentment, making advocacy even more difficult.
Burnout — a state of emotional and physical depletion that makes it even harder to support your child.
Strained relationships with your child, partner, or others in your life due to ongoing stress.
Strategies to Support Yourself
You cannot pour from an empty cup. Here are some ways to start managing exhaustion and reclaiming your energy:
Acknowledge Your Feelings (Without Guilt)
Recognising that you are exhausted is not a weakness—it’s a sign that you have been carrying too much for too long. Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that your feelings are valid.
2. Seek Out Support
Connect with other parents who understand your struggles. Online communities or local support groups can provide validation and advice. We have created this group in Free to Grow
Talk to a professional if you need to. Therapy or coaching can help process emotions and develop coping strategies.
Ask for help from family and friends, when possible, even if it’s just for small breaks.
3. Set Boundaries with Schools and Professionals
You don’t have to fight every battle at once. Choose which issues are most urgent and focus your energy there.
Use email templates and written communication to advocate for your child without the emotional toll of constant phone calls and meetings.
Take breaks from advocacy when possible. If you have an ongoing issue with a school or professional, allow yourself moments of rest in between pushing forward.
4. Prioritise Basic Self-Care (Even in Small Ways)
Sleep - Create a bedtime routine that prioritises rest, even if it's just winding down with a book or meditation.
Nutrition - Aim for balanced meals when possible—blood sugar dips can make stress feel even worse.
Movement - Gentle movement (walking, stretching, yoga) can help release tension without feeling like another chore.
Joyful Activities - Find small moments of pleasure—reading, listening to music, crafting, or even just sitting in silence with a cup of tea.
5. Let Go of Perfectionism
You are already doing enough. Some days will feel overwhelming, and that’s okay. Give yourself permission to not have all the answers, to not fight every battle, and to rest when you need to.
You Are Not Alone
Exhaustion is real, and if you are feeling it, you are not failing—you are caring deeply. But in order to be the best support for your child, you also need to care for yourself.
By recognising the signs of exhaustion and taking small steps to prioritise your own well-being, you are not just helping yourself—you are setting an example for your child about the importance of self-care and resilience.
If this resonates with you, consider joining our upcoming webinar “Why Am I So Exhausted?”, where we will explore these topics in more depth and provide practical strategies for managing exhaustion while parenting a child with differences.
📅 Date & Time: 24th February 2025 10:00am - 11:00am (GMT)
📍 Where: Microsoft Teams
You deserve support, too. Let’s start this conversation together.